Disregarded Series: God, I Don't Understand What You're Doing

God, I don’t understand what you’re doing

No matter where you are in your walk, you are bound to have experienced a shift in seasons. Ecclesiastes 3:1 lets us know that ‘for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.’ This truth found in God’s word presents a conflicting battle, with our desire for immediate knowledge of our circumstances, both now and for the future. The writings of Solomon spark a dispute with our longing to see when and how the plans for our lives will manifest and then Gods perfect order through seasons.

As I have followed Christ and journeyed with Him through tests, moments of excessive joy and disappointments, I have found myself limiting the structure of my walk with Him. In my finite understanding I had become accustomed to seeing seasons of my life as the extremes of mountain top and valley moments. I had so easily grasped the distinction between walking in the fullness of joy concerning Gods tangible favour, and then periods of struggling to make it through the day.

Then I was confronted with the uncomfortable reality of uncertainty. Uncertainty about where I was going, what I was supposed to be doing, who was supposed to be around me and ultimately who I was becoming. A path that had always seemed so black and white had now become a heap of confusion. A lack of direction was always a foreign thought to me, yet an overwhelming sense of unpredictability had started to infiltrate my walk with God.

As I put one foot in front of the other and went about my journey as I knew to, God started to unfold the beauty of not knowing. He revealed that my confusion didn’t stem from His character because that is not who He is (1 Corinthians 14: 33), but rather my inability to cling to His consistency in the midst of change. I had let circumstances and the emotions that flowed from them, dictate my understanding of Gods ability to establish His purposes for my life (Psalms 138:8).

The state of not knowing is a state of ultimate vulnerability. This is simply because the sheep is now compelled to listen to, discern and adequately follow the voice of the Good Shepherd (John 10:27). Gods basic expectation of our response to His call, now all of a sudden seems to amplify to us in the midst of our uncertainty. We start to desperately seek direction, wisdom and assurance as we plead for God to un-cloud our vision. As much as I do encourage the seeking of wisdom from God (James 1:5-6) and Gods desire to make His path for us known to us personally is revealed in scripture, (Isaiah 30:21) I want to tackle the subtle heart issue of many disciples.

Many of us trust the expectation of God making His plans known to us, not the one who ordains of those plans Himself. We hope in the assurance of knowing every turn, bumpy road and smooth sailing season along the way. Yet God has called us to intimately know HIM and trust the heart of the one we call Lord, despite what we see manifesting in our lives. Proverbs 3:5-6 beckons us to not lean on our own understanding, but to trust in Gods personal longing to make our paths straight.

The experience of an unpredictable season exposed that I trusted the security of ‘knowing’ what God was doing in every moment. A lack of clarity had disrupted my peace, when the heart of God yearns for us to all walk in His peace because of WHO He is. Not just what He does that we perceive to make sense, nor what He is willing to reveal to us. There is so much beauty in surrendering the need to know each step and trusting God to steer us in the direction as He wills.  

So if you have found or are finding yourself in a season of uncertainty, rest in this very truth; Gods sovereignty extends beyond your ability to comprehend what He’s doing.

Isaiah 55:8-9 assures us that Gods thoughts and ways are higher than ours. His holy word encourages us by revealing the fact that it is normal for Gods ways to sometimes be beyond our comprehension. Even in transition seasons where you can’t locate yourself, difficult seasons where you can’t see the hope of overcoming, or confusing seasons where the right things seem to be coming at the wrong time -REST. Rest your uneasy heart knowing that the God Almighty has declared that HE knows the plans that He has for you and that His declaration doesn’t change even when you can’t trace those plans (Jeremiah 29:11).


Caitlin Nunez
Founder and leader of Kingdom Ambassadors