Being a countercultural Christian

One of the most recited scriptures within the church is easily Romans 12:2 that commands us to not be conformed to the patterns and customs of this world, but rather to renew our minds in Christ Jesus. We hear the preacher preach it, and the teacher teach it, yet we still struggle on a daily basis as born again believers to embrace it.

This week at Bible study, my pastor mentioned the very truth that we need to start being bold in being countercultural, and within that being unashamed of our standards. I started thinking about just how much courage we can lack when questioned about why we do what we do, the decisions that we make and where those standards stem from. On top of that, I also began to truly understand just how different it is to live as a Christian that is obedient to and in wholehearted pursuit of the Lord, in a society that has rebelled so far away from Gods desire for us to walk in holiness.

I thought I’d share some of my personal experience of ways that my lifestyle has been countercultural as a young woman living for God and how I continuously strive to overcome the trials that inevitable come alongside particular convictions.

1)    Dating/relationship/sex culture

It’s no shock to any young person living in this generation that there is an extreme pressure to be in a relationship with someone, be having sex continuously with one person or a variety of people, or to even simply date around to find out ‘what you like and don’t like’. My personal convictions have led me to a point where I have said no to the demands of society, my carnal flesh and even other people in my life; no sex until marriage and no frivolously dating anyone who the Holy Spirit has not said yes to.

Coming from a life (pre-salvation) where I would go from talking to guy to guy, ending up in a few relationships, and always entertaining the attention of good looking boys through conversations and pointless dates, I had finally had enough. I recognized that my heart wasn’t to be given to every guy that slid into my DM’s, and that God had called me as His daughter with the purpose of completely satisfying me in His love. I’ve shared in previous posts about my decisions and convictions on my single journey so I won’t go into that too much. But what I did want to discuss is the complications that come with living in this superficial ‘goals’ world, with a heart that desires to wait on the Lord for a spouse.

I would sometimes find myself going through seasons where no guys would try to talk to me, and then some where they did, and yet one thing has kept me still and rested in the Lord; the fact that God has laid out every moment of my life before a single moment has even passed (Psalm 139:16) This scripture constantly gives me so much assurance of the fact that God will perfectly ordain my marriage if it is His will for me to be presented to a husband. I don’t need to fret about who’s checking for me or who every other sister is courting, because of the very truth that God is both my beginning and my end, and knows the plans He has for my life. So in moments of wondering doubt of whether I’ll ever get married if all I’m doing is chasing Jesus, God puts me at rest knowing that one day I’ll look back thankful that I didn’t embrace the culture of many young females and give countless Christian men my heart and body.

Is it hard to pursue purity in a generation that celebrates in satisfying every sexual and emotional desire? Of course. But my pledge to purity extends beyond the physical. It stands knowing that the holiness asked of me is not merely an outward standard, but a heart state that starts from within. It’s a mind-set that says I’m not just going to abstain from sin in terms of sex or toxic relationships, but I’m going to refrain from doing everything that even leads to it, so that I can truly walk in the fullness of God’s perfect will for my love life.

I rely daily on God’s strength and word to keep me focused when lustful thoughts creep in, I meditate on the cross whenever I feel like I need the affection of a boyfriend, and I remember my purpose when I experience the urge to settle for a distraction of a man not sent by God to marry me.

2)    Clubbing and wild activities

The temptation to engage in clubbing and the madness of the raving scene was really tested as I started university. I had already stopped going to those particular settings long before university, but that was within an environment of people that knew my standards and knew that I was intentional about living for God. When I moved out and was surrounded by people that had no idea about my passion for Christ, and was bombarded with the pressures of fresher’s week raves, the boldness I was able to cultivate with ease at home, was now tested.

God always reminded me of 1 Thessalonians 5:22 - Abstain from all appearance of evil, and has continuously highlighted the word ‘appearance’ to me. When speaking to young people I often get told ‘but Caitlin I’m not doing anything crazy there, I just want to have fun’. I always point them to this scripture which has formed my conviction on engagement in wild activities, to show that a lot of it goes beyond the act of clubbing itself, but the nature of it, the environment and the very fact that it can ruin your Christian witness. As much as each one is responsible for their own salvation, Hebrews 12:1 reminds us that we are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses to this life of faith, and that the truth is, both believers and unbelievers alike are watching every action. How do you think an unbeliever would take it if one day you are sharing the gospel with them or praying over their sin and then the next day are grinding and whining on several guys at a club? The truth is, that they would be confused. Whilst I don’t agree with many unbelievers expectation of Christians to be perfect all the time, I do believe we have a duty to 1. Walk in the light of Christ and flee from every youthful lust (1 John 1:6 & 2 Timothy 2:22) and 2. Reflect Christ to those who are unknowledgeable about His saving grace.

It’s easier said than done, because the truth of real life situations is that it’s awkward when your new flat mates or friends ask you ‘’so you coming out clubbing tonight?’’ and you have to respond with no and consequently an explanation of your desire to live for Jesus, and not entertain temptation with the opportunity and environment of wild behavior. But the we can cling in hope to the fact that we will all indeed give a personal account to God (Romans 14:12) so we do not need to worry about the opinions of others in our attempts to please God, and that God is our Mighty Defender in every aspect of our lives and we do not need to prove or fight for ourselves to anyone (Deuteronomy 32:4).

It can become difficult as you grow in anxiety about how you’ll make friends, fit in or connect with people, especially in an environment such as university. But the practicality of it, is to simply try and connect with people through more suitable activities such as dinner, bowling, sight-seeing etc. However, ensure that when you lay down your boundaries to both God and man, you stick to them, for a double minded man is unstable in all his ways (James 1:6). An added bonus, is that as people watch your conduct, see your commitment to pure living and become part of your experience in living for Jesus, they will naturally respect you. I’ve found that people have often grown to respect me, simply because I stand by what I say, when I say that I live by the commandments of God’s word, and my conduct on a Saturday night doesn’t contradict my preaching on a Sunday morning.

I pray that by me going through some of my own personal convictions that have led to people looking at me weird, society thinking I’m old fashioned and new friends being curious, you have been encouraged. You are not of this world, so do not try and act like you are to simply fit in. We were created to be set apart and reflect the glory of God into this rebellious world, it’s time to embrace it.

Caitlin Nunez

Founder of Kingdom Ambassadors